PARIS PAPERS VOLUME XII ~ June 28, 2006

Dear Family and Friends,

Here we go, your FINAL Paris Papers. I am going to start with a typical account of my last couple of days in Paris, and then I will move on to my Epilogue. So, here’s the wind up, and the pitch… (sorry, watching BASEBALL!!!)

I find it hard to believe that I have not made this little cultural commentary before, but in Europe, the floors of buildings are labeled differently. In the states, we call the ground floor the first floor. It is not the same system in France. In France, the ground floor is floor zero, and the floor above is the first floor. So technically speaking in France, I lived on the fourth floor of my building, but by American standards, I lived on the fifth floor. Sorry, I know it seems random, but I had to mention it as another little quirky cultural difference.

Stained Glass Window by Tiffany's

We left off with my last week in Paris. I spent most of my time either packing or playing tourist. Well, I must admit, I did do a fair amount of “nothing” as well. I did quite a bit of re-visiting in my final days. To be frank, I was low on energy at the end. I did visit a few new spots. I visited the American Church near Invalides. I went to see the windows designed by Tiffany’s in New York City. They were very different from the other windows I have seen. Rather than one layer of glass, the panes are laid one on top of another to create a more opaque look. And I finally made it back to Pere Lachaise to find Jim Morrison’s grave. I did not get chased out by hail this time around and did pay my respects. His is the only grave in the cemetery that is guarded due to the large numbers of his devotees who feel it honors his memory to graffiti the surrounding tombs.

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

(I have officially been umpiring too much youth softball)

Beautiful ancient craftsmanship, a broach from the Etruscan collection in the Louvre

Napoleon III's sitting room at the Louvre

I returned to the Louvre for one last visit. I did see the “Big 3” (as usual); though the Venus de Milo had been moved (her gallery was being cleaned). I visited, more in depth, the Greek and Etruscan collections, and visited Napoleon III’s private apartments. In terms of splendor, they were very much on par with Versailles, further proving that Louis XIV set the standard for royal luxury. I really miss having the Louvre in my “backyard.” It is such a cool museum. It is massive, and you can go loads of times, and never see the same things (except by choice), there is just such a diversity of collections.

The urban and somewhat ugly campus of Paris VII, a long way from the classic brick buildings of Orono

I also took one last jaunt to Jussieu, and actually took some pictures. It never occurred to me to take any before (other than the few shots of the barricades). I went the last day of exams, and the campus was deserted. It is funny to think about how little time I actually spent there, but more on that topic later.

Also in my last few days I took in a few more “cultural events.” I watched the French version of “American Idol” called “Nouvelle Star” on TV. I found it interesting that the final two contestants chose mostly American songs for their performances. I always find it very interesting, that though the contestants did not speak English, there was little or no perceptible accent in their singing. For anyone who cares: Christophe “the Turtle” won the title over Dominique “the Diva.” I was also privy to a match of the World Cup. I still am amazed how insanely popular “football” (what we call soccer) is in Europe, or the rest of the world for that matter. In my life here in the states I have never encountered the magnitude of enthusiasm about soccer that you see in the rest of the world. I guess Americans are more interested in Baseball and our Football.

Pont Neuf (which means "new bridge,") is actually the oldest bridge in Paris, it is called "new" because it was the first bridge to be made of stone. Prior to its construction, bridges were wooden and had houses and shops built on top of them.

On Saturday, my last day, I decided to walk throughout Paris. I walked from the Arc de Triumphe down the Champs Elysses, past the Obelisk, through the Tuileries Gardens, over Pont Neuf, and to Notre Dame. I went into the church one last time, and gazed at the windows. From there I strolled along the Seine down by the water. There are paths that are below street level that run next to the river, and I had been meaning to walk them all semester. And so I walked from Notre Dame to the Eiffel Tower to say my farewell. I thought about ending my stay there, at the Eiffel Tower, and have the poetic, “end where I began” scenario, but I decided to do something different.

Adieu to my Friends at Montmartre

I finished my sojourn in Paris with a trip to Montmartre, my favorite place. I spent some time just wandering around my favorite square browsing the art, and chatting with the artists. I sat in a café, and sipped a soda (too hot for coffee or hot chocolate), and just watched the world go by. I wanted that to be my last visit in Paris. From there I returned to my apartment and had dinner with my hosts. After dinner I stuffed every last little thing I could into my suitcases and sat on them to make sure I could get them zipped up. I couldn’t sleep, so I watched a couple of movies waiting for dawn.

On Sunday, M. Langellier-Bellevue got up to wait with me for my shuttle, I was very touched. I almost did not make it to the airport, due to a disaster with the shuttle service arranged by API, but thanks to a kind cab driver, I made it to Charles DeGaulle Airport just in time for my flight to London. I did have a stroke of luck, the scales and baggage conveyer belts were broken, so I got away with three bags which I am certain were over weight. I had a layover in London, and spent the time sorting through some of my thousands of photos. In case you were wondering, the final count comes in at: 10,766. Needless to say an elimination process is underway. For “The Crossing” I was on my first double-decker plane. Unfortunately the second deck was reserved only for first class but I did score a nice roomy seat. There was an array of movies to watch, so I caught up on my Americana by watching “Brokeback Mountain” (no clue what all the fuss was about, I did not think it was very good), and a couple of old sit coms. I dozed a bit too.

Home at last, with Mom in the airport

When I arrived in Boston, I was amazed at how much tighter immigration is in the US. I had to wait in a line for quite some time, and the security personnel actually studied my passport, whereas in Europe, there were times when I entered a country and no one cared to see my passport (Belgium, and Italy). Then as I was claiming my baggage, the belt jammed, and I had to wait a seeming eternity before I could move on to the next check point: the dreaded customs. Customs was not as bad as I thought. I assumed that I would have to pay taxes on my imported champagne and calvados (gifts for my family), but the guard just sort of nonchalantly waved me through. I saw my family right away, and was never so happy to see anyone in my life. They came bearing cheddar cheese and crackers (things I missed a LOT), and I swapped for them with fresh French croissants and pains au chocolat baked by my baker the night before I left Paris.

Once back in my house I distributed presents, and relaxed. My dad cooked Buffalo Chicken (another favorite that I had been craving) for me, and I struggled to stay awake for the Red Sox game, with little success. I crashed really hard around 8 PM, and woke up the next morning with my Jet Lag mostly licked.

EPILOGUE

As I sit down to commence this epilogue to my semester in France, I am not sure what it will turn out to be. A part of me still cannot believe it all happened, that it was not something I imagined or dreamed. A semester in France was something I had dreamed about ever since I can remember knowing about the concept of studying in another country. I have spent the two and a half weeks trying to get back into my “old” life, and trying to reflect upon all I have experienced and learned. You all have followed my adventures, and may have seen for yourselves some of the ways in which I have grown and changed. I apologize that this sounds very disorganized and fragmented; it has not been easy to write…

I suppose I will start with independence and responsibility: before I went to Paris, I had never been completely out on my own. I really don’t count my first five semesters at college as being out on my own, considering that I had the dining commons, and all the other amenities of living on an American University campus. I am not sure if I am embarrassed to admit this, but at 21 years old, I had never done my own grocery shopping. I still live with my parents when I am not at school, and I have always lived on campus. I had never really had to live on a strict budget before. Ever since I have had money to spend, I have had the opportunity to work and earn more money and therefore I never needed to strictly budget my funds. I did not have this opportunity in France. And so, for the first time I had to carefully monitor my spending. It was tough at first, and I made mistakes, but as time wore on I found ways to save money on food and other necessities, and therefore have more money for my adventures. I also successfully managed my first credit card. For some reason it gives me intense pride knowing that I did it all on my own. My parents would not have let me starve had I run out of money, but I wanted to see if I could do it, and I succeeded, and the best part was, I do not feel that I ever missed an opportunity because of lack of funds. As a matter of fact, I did come home with a respectable number of paintings, and little treasures, and I did a bit of traveling :o). I COULD have found a way to spend more money, and I spent pretty much every last bit that I had, but it was definitely enough.

This trip was the longest period that I have ever been away from home. This in itself was a challenge. I am a creature of habit. I like my consistency and my familiarity. For people who are more open to change the transition to living abroad is a difficult one, and I will admit that I had a very tough time at first. There were moments when I thought I had made a huge mistake and that I could not handle being abroad. There were material things I missed, certain foods, and comforts of home. I missed my habits and my comfort. I missed hockey and the Red Sox. I missed simple things like driving, and being allowed to walk on grass. I missed my family and friends most of all. I missed just having them around to talk to and be near. I thought about them all the time, and now I truly believe in absence making the heart grow fonder. When I left home I was not confident in my own abilities and so I was not sure if I could get through the semester. However, with the support of my family and friends, I made it, and as a result, I have gained some self confidence.

Beyond the more evident lessons I learned, I learned to be more relaxed and to take things less seriously. Anyone who knows me is aware that I am a tense person, and that I do not like situations that are beyond my control. I am still working at adopting the old proverb: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” At the onset of the strikes I was very stressed out and concerned about all of the ‘what if..’ scenarios I could conceive (most of them involving me failing everything), but eventually, I realized that there was nothing I could do to change the situation, no matter how much I worried or stressed. This was a big change for me, and it is still occurring, but I cannot deny that France helped me learn to relax a little more, and helped me mellow out.

Spending a long period of time in another country forces you to reflect on your own country and culture. The people you encounter challenge your beliefs about your country. For example: A French friend of mine compared the American Public school tradition of daily reciting of the Pledge of Allegiance to Nazi brainwashing. And I had to answer for my government almost every day. To be honest sometimes I found it simpler to lie and say I was from Canada. I am not ashamed of my heritage, but regardless of my personal politics, it was difficult to be an American in France. I do not think that the French hate Americans, but they certainly do not agree with our country’s politics. However, the French are concerned that all Americans hate them. I had to answer to that concern many times. It was very interesting to see how the French reacted to me as an American living in their country. I will not deny that there were those who were rude to me. I will admit that at times being an American was a disadvantage. I was never assaulted in any way, but the French never hesitated to show their disapproval if I was speaking English to another Anglophone in public. However, there were some who were excited to encounter an American and pepper me with questions about life in the USA. Living in another country is absolutely a globalization process in terms of awareness. You have to be more aware of your place in the world and have a greater understanding and acceptance of other cultures.

Of course I have to mention linguistic growth. I did speak French before I went on this trip. I started informally learning when I was very young when I met a group of girls from Quebec who were my age, and to communicated I started to learn from them. I also studied with my step-grandmother, and in middle school, high school, and in college. So I did have a solid grasp of the language, but I never realized how much I did not know until I went to France. Living and studying in Paris really helped me hone my French skills. My accent and pronunciation have changed, and I can access the vocabulary more easily when I speak. I no longer need to think in English and then translate my thoughts into French, and tenses come more naturally when I speak. There is something to be said for the immersion method of language learning. I had no choice, French was all around me all day every day, and I had to sink or swim, and I did my best to rise to the occasion. My hosts proved especially helpful with my language development. They were always patient and ready to listen to me muddle through an anecdote and always were able to help me with vocabulary, pronunciation, and grammar. Living with the family really gave me an opportunity to have more practice with speaking and listening to French. I am personally very proud of my improvement in speaking as a result of my time in France.

Living in a city is a very different experience to living in small town New England. It was strange to go grocery shopping without seeing people I knew. Sometimes anonymity was a relieving and freeing, and other times it made me lonely. I enjoyed the metro for its convenience and ease; however, I did not enjoy the crowding. In a city there is no such thing as “a personal space bubble” not on the sidewalks, buses, or in the metro. This is something I take for granted living in a small town. Towards the end, I got very tired of being jostled, and bumped, and pushed, and nudged, and touched by complete strangers. When I walk around campus at Orono, I usually don’t need to pass within five feet of someone unless I choose to do so. When in such close proximity to other people, I was always checking my wallet and possessions of value. Speaking of value, living in a city is expensive, much more so than living in a small town. However, I cannot complain about the diversity of activities. Any time I suffered from boredom, it was merely due to lethargy on my part, in the city there is ALWAYS something to do.

Speaking of things to do, once you have seemingly exhausted one city, or are just looking for a change of pace, everything is so close and so inexpensive to get to. You can change countries incredibly inexpensively. From Paris, I was less than 2 hours away by plane from Rome, Barcelona, London, Berlin, Brussels, Amsterdam, and many more. I was amazed at the ease of “country hopping.” It was a pleasure to bounce from city to city seeing the world as I chose. I will miss the constant ability to travel, it was one of the best parts of being in France, but I do understand that I have been living in exceptional circumstances and cannot expect to do the same now that I am back home. However, I know the itch will not lay docile forever, I have been bitten by the bug, and I suppose I will always long for distant places waiting to be explored.

Another thing I will say for my trip to Paris, my problems seemed much less significant from 3,000 miles away. I am sure all of you know that I did not have a good fall semester. Academically I pulled through, but with the cockroaches in my room, my train-wreck break-up, and then losing a friend to cancer, I had a very tough fall. I appreciate all of you who were there for me. Being in France gave me perspective, and helped me move on with some issues I could not seem to navigate my way around. Obstacles such as a broken heart seemed insurmountable before I left, but now that I am home, I feel as though I have moved beyond the things that were suffocating me. Time heals all wounds, I suppose. I would like to think that I did not run away from my problems, but perhaps putting an ocean between them and myself helped change my perspective.

Many people have asked me for my opinion on the Academic Programs International (API) study abroad program. I will be honest. I was not impressed with API. I did not find the program itself overly helpful. My cooking class was probably the most beneficial aspect of the program for me, and some of the excursions were very interesting. However, this is my council to anyone regarding studying abroad: you get out of it what you put into it. The program will get you there; the rest is up to you. I will not delve deeply into my personal grievances against the program, but will leave it at that. If you want to study abroad, and you want to be in Paris, API will get you there, but you need to make the most of your time there. If you want more information or details, feel free to email me directly.

Now that I have been home for a while, I am really starting to miss my adopted country and culture. I miss the language, and the people I met over there. I miss my favorite haunts, and some the daily things like fresh baguette, croissants, my market, and the ability to walk everywhere. I miss the independence, and I miss the excitement. I am not bored with my life at home, and I am not complaining or wishing I had not returned, but I do miss France and all the things that I loved about being there. I am not sure if I will ever be able to see Paris the same way again. For me, Paris always held a sort of magic. In my young mind it was the perfect city, and full of mystery. I will not say that I am completely disillusioned, but I am not sure if I can ever see Paris so naively again, or even with a tourist’s eyes. I am certain I will go back, and that it will always have a special place in my heart, but my perspective has changed. Some of the perfection and magic is gone, but then again, I now have my own memories to rely on rather than my younger fantasies. I am sure it will be like when I drive with my parents through the town where they grew up, there will always be memories, and I will torment my traveling companions with tales of the time I lived there.

I cannot believe I am going to admit the following to my professors who read this, but, I feel it needs to be said. For the first time in my academic career, I spent a semester without the pressure for academic excellence. Throughout my life in school, I have always had this internal drive to be the best, to achieve the highest marks. I always felt that anything less than an A was unacceptable. This semester was my first semester ever where A’s did not matter. The UMaine study abroad system only accepts grades on a pass/fail basis, and just so long as I achieved C-’s in all my classes I would receive my credits, and my GPA would not suffer. This was oddly liberating. I will confess that knowing that it did not matter if I scored an A or a C-, did impact my study habits. I was not nonchalant or lazy, but this system allowed me to perhaps put down the books and do something fun, where under normal circumstances I would have kept on studying. So, I suppose I will voice my opinion here, and say that I think this is a very effective system. I will explain this fully shortly.

Purely referring to a classroom academic perspective, I did not learn very much this semester. I am certain that I would have learned more about Roman History from Dr. Bregman; more about 20^th Century History from Dr. Janet Tebrake; and more about Sociology from Dr. Spiller. I did learn enough to pass all of my classes (grades are in), but some of the knowledge was preexisting from my studies in high school and earlier in my college career. However, as I am sure is evidenced by this blog, I learned many things that you cannot learn in a classroom. I learned more about the world around me, and some things you have to experience to fully appreciate and understand. I learned life skills from the greatest teacher: experience. I know it sounds cliché, but I also learned at lot about myself as a person. Had the normal academic rigors remained, I would have missed out on a lot of this informal learning. By alleviating the pressure for high grades, and removing the threat of a GPA nose-dive I enjoyed more free time that I feel I would have missed if the UMaine system were different. There are some things you cannot learn from a book, and I had the liberty to discover these things without the threat of academic inadequacy.

Study abroad is not about academics. There is an academic component, but in my opinion, that is not why people (myself included now) choose to study in another country. I did not realize the magnitude of this experience when I undertook it. I did not realize how much I would learn and how much would change. Studying Abroad is about seeing a new perspective, interacting with a new culture. It is about challenging yourself to adapt and to broaden your horizons. It is about growing up, and seeing the world. It is about self discovery and independence. It is about understanding, accepting, trying new things, and becoming a better person. Looking back, I can say that France was an enormous challenge, and there were some incredibly tough times, but in the end, I am absolutely sure, it has been the most rewarding and best experience of my life thus far. I am infinitely glad that I went, and I am equally grateful to all those people who helped me along the way, and those people, for the most part, are you who read this blog. And now, it is with a touch of regret that I end this final entry. It has been a pleasure sharing my adventures with all of you. Thank you for your attention and your comments and compliments. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. I am not sure how long this site will remain active after I stop posting, but I have a copy of all the entries and pictures on my hard drive. Again, thank you and keep in touch. And so dear friends, until my next blog-worthy adventure I remain your world traveling blogger,

~Monica :o)

My last official picture in France